Hitler and Goats
by BeehiveOneThreeZer0
Summary: Gigabyte me. I dare you.


Hitler and Goats

Dedicated to Pigeon. Some inside jokes are laced in this: they'll be explained to everyone else at the end.

Real life problems in a fantasy! *claps* v(*o*)^

This is my ultimate Crackfic.

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

I staggered backwards, pointing numbly at the figures before turning on my heel and bolting from the door, my eyes trying to commit suicide, and-

ALRIGHT PAUSE.

The image freezes in your head right here, on me (of course), running for my life, suspended in air as I walk into the scene and start cussing at my expression. "What the hell is this shit!? They don't even know what the hell is going on you lazy bitch!"

Axel yelled at the writer of this story and Red cursed back with an equal amount of pyromaniac flaming intensity. "You shut up! You think I was just going to end it two paragraphs?"

The spot-lit, moving Axel looked at his frozen memory. "Couldn't you make it a little less, you know, dumbass looking?"

"Do you want me to show the picture of you as a cheerleader?"

A cursor appeared on the screen and dragged open a pop up, a large picture suddenly appearing and Axel thrusting himself in front of it, clicking the square minimize button and shoving it in his jacket with a nervous smile.

"Now see what you did? You've confused the readers!" He screamed, blushing furiously and panting heavily.

Red, the writer LAUGHED at his computerized pain. "And I enjoy every damn minute of it!"

"Tell the story RIGHT!" He demanded.

"I don't waaaaaaaaaaaannna!" she whines.

"TELL IT RIGHT!" The flames were starting to line her taskbar.

"Alright alright, FINE."

"You better not tell it all gay like," he said in annoyance. "I'll have to castrate you."

…. There was a pause. "I'm a girl you idiot."

"SHUT UP! DON'T YOU HAVE A STORY TO TELL!?"

The cursor moved over to Axel and picked him up by the hood, Axel scrambled and cursed to try and break the cursor's never-ending hold on his black leather. With a gentle flick of the mouse, he was dumped into the desktop garbage bin.

"Now. Where shall I begin?"  
"The beginning you bitch," Axel groaned from the trash bin, shuffling through failed photoshop attempts and stupid Ipod generated extra files.

Red clicked her iTunes on and ignored him. "It was a cold and stormy…"  
"It was sunny," axel argued.

Red glared at the trash bin, clicked it and shook the mouse furiously, utterly shaking the redhead. He groaned and looked queasy.

"It was a mild temperature, but the wind was cold and storms rolled in from the west…."

"What does the weather have to do with anything anyway?" He asked queasily.

She sighed.

The image reverses and you the reader see Axel, the story resuming first person as Red's fingers hit the keyboard, a sickly redhead in her trash bin. Do not ask the writer what this following says as she begins Axel's story… because she just typed it and doesn't have a damn clue. If you care to enlighten as to what it says: you're a nerd. Thank you.

000101010001010111010001001010001001011101000170101010111010101

0001010

01011110100010101

1010101010001010101000101

1101010001010

101010

110101010101001

101010100010101001101

I sighed, creating another zero and one with my hand and placing it on the black backdrop of the screens never-ending void. I deleted the seven I had created for personal amusement. (or _did_ I?)

My name is NOBODY DATA PROGRAM VERSION AXEL 10 (2 for binary haters). I was loaded into a Toshiba Satellite, Windows Vista laptop with "Intel Centrino inside" and "DOLBY Sound Room."

I was created to organize and defrag data in the mainframe of computers automatically, I'm a hologram and there's not much else to tell really. Day and night (or is it still day? I'm not sure) the computer is opened and closed, giving me a quick glimpse of whatever is there through the built in webcam. (creeeeepy.)

I'm not supposed to pay attention, organizing more data in your iTunes, Zunes, or whatever and pay you no mind. But I'm a defected model, I don't obey all creation rules, and my creator would have me decommissioned simply for looking another direction if my defect was to be reported. I'm not heartless, I have a personality, interest, and genuine curiosity. But… I'm a program, I'm not supposed to have these things, and in fear of being deleted, I do my work well.

It's horribly boring though.

The screensaver kicked on then popped back off, the user is watching a video or something. Curiosity eventually got the better of me and I peeked through the webcam data, accidently tripping a number and the webcam popping up unbeknownst to me at the bottom of the screen. I could hear the speakers working, a soft toned male voice as well as an Mp4 file. He wasn't saying anything coherent, nothing my programming could convey as words anyway….

The voice and bad English came from a boy, approximately 18 in age, blonde with hair at a curved flip to one side and bright R: 80 G: 135 B: 166 shade eyes, close to the alias Light Cyan Blue. I knew his name because of pictures stored in the computer and tagging on MySpace pictures; Roxas.

His head was tilted back against the chair and he let a soft sound slip past his dusty pink lips. He was keening for whatever was on the screen, hands invisible to me. I peeked at what was on the screen and grimaced. Two males can mate? I did not know of such things… My attention turned back to the blonde and I briefly recollected data from his usage in my head. He was a frequent visitor of a 'live yaoi' site with free downloads that were hellish to defrag, deviantart, fanfiction dot net, youtube, and another yaoi site.

He was thankfully oblivious to my presence. His blue eyes only fluttered open and I wondered what he was up to, tilting my head slightly to one side and watching him, trying to find some form of data that could inform me of the event before me. Eventually the blonde stopped, releasing a deep sigh and quivering slightly. He groaned, shaking his head and shifting away from the computer. He came back a moment later and wriggled the mouse to make the screen saver go away again and blanched. There was a confused cock of an eyebrow, and a click, followed by an intense pause.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

His eyes were fixated on the screen and I shifted for a moment to see what he was talking about. He looked around wildly.

I read the title bar and was horrified. "ACTIVE WEBCAM" was emblazoned on the screen. I turned to look outward and his blue eyes were completely fixated on me. I moved and so did the wide orbs.

He said something but I heard nothing. I walked to the end of his taskbar and unmuted the music he'd probably stopped to hear me, and looked at him expectantly.

"What the fuck are you?" he said clearly.

"I am called," I began formally, "Version A.X.E.L. copy 2 of the Nobody Data Program."

"You're a program?" he repeated dumbly.

"Correct," I chirped.

He gave me this bewildered look, "I'm sorry... what?"

I sighed and reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out a receipt form and placing It on the screen, it instantly becoming a large window. "You bought me."

"I bought a disk, not a person."

"I am the disk's program. Created by Square Enix, Disney, and Square soft, further specialized for my specific tasks by T. Nourma."

I shook his head, "what was in that soda I drank?"

I yanked up an internet page and read off the ingredients but it didn't seem to help.

"How… how long have you been watching me?"

I thought back. "I'm always here, but I have had my attention on you for approximately one hour, seventeen minutes, two seconds, and fifty-seven milliseconds. Three seconds, four seconds…."

"Okay you can stop."

I silenced, sitting down on the title bar of a window and generating an ice-cream. He looked at the clock and flushed a shade of dusty rose. "You sure about the time?"

"Positive."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and pressed his eyes together, eyebrows knitting with a soft groan. "How embarrassing."

"Excuse me?" I asked. He looked up at me, blushing a shade brighter when I asked, "Can I ask exactly what you were doing? And what is a Yah-oi?"

"Yaoi," he corrected. Pronouncing it Yow-E. "I was um... it's uhmmm… do I have to tell you?"

I licked the ice-cream, "Of course not. I was merely curious."

There was another silence as I licked at my ice-cream, relishing its delicious taste and digitally enhanced flavor. "What… are you?"

I sighed. "I am a malfunctioning program."

"Malfunctioning?" He repeated, staring at me on his screen. "You look fine to me."

"The fact I can create this ice-cream, speak to you, and enter your desktop means I am a malfunctioning program. I am meant to defrag and organize data, nothing else. You are never to come across me in this form."

"You can take other forms?"

"Of course, how else would I exist in your mainframe, this is my favorite form but it is also the least functional."

"What's the most functional?"

"Do not shut down your computer." I said, sticking the cleaned stick in my mouth. "I will be in the form for exactly five seconds."

He nodded and let out a noise of shock as green numbers covered his screen. Like something out of the matrix, hey moved and typed themselves into the digital space. Five seconds I took my other form again and nibbled on the stick. "That was my natural state, I tend to take the form called, "virtual RPG game system.

"A video game character," he repeated. "So you really are a disk program."

I nodded and shook the sick, recreating the ice-cream. Then I felt something poke me in the shoulder, "HEY!" I turned to see his cursor. I suddenly found myself being chased down by it, then he caught the tail of my jacket and lifted me above solid icons and bars. I hung there with a sigh, "can you put me down?"

"I can interact with you," he said in declaration. "You really are like a video game person."

"I can choose to not be," I informed dryly. "I can act like a virus and start deleting all of you information."

He sat me down in a paint window. I looked around and lit up, pressing my finger into the red box and started dragging it across the large white screen.

"If you're alive… is there any way you can… uh… come out of the computer?"

"I've never attempted, but I suppose it could be possible…"

"Do you mind?"

I shook my head, "I've always been curious to see how tall you are."

He blushed again slightly, "well… how to do this?" He opened a drawer and browsed through a collections of installed programs, pulling one out he turned away. "This might be able to do it."

It was a few tries over a few days before we found one that worked.

He connected something into the mainframe and I supervised as it loaded into the computer. It was called a "SCANNER and FAX machine".

"If nothing else, I'll get a picture of you."

I grinned. "What should I do?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, de-scan yourself."

I somehow understood the meaning. I opened the scanning program's data and began reversing it for one scan. I saved the data for future use and stepped into the program. "Okay, open your 'scanner'."

He reached to the side of the computer and then turned back to me. "Ready?"

"I guess," I said softly, somewhat nervous. Thankfully, there was a backup in case my real program was damaged. I would auto repair or be replaced.

There was a bright flash underneath me and I shut my eyes.

I heard a surprised gasp as the light passed again and then was gone entirely. "It worked!"

I opened my eyes to see wallpaper. I looked around to see a bed, nightstand, various articles of clothing, a pile of more clothing, books, a backpack, window… amoung various other bedroom décor. Glancing downward I saw I was standing on a glass panel, and slowly I made my way down. Roxas was in his computer chair and staring at me, bright eyes and a soft smile.

"Hello again Roxas," I greeted. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh yeah… what's your name?"

"I never had one, I'm a program."

"A.X.E.L… why don't we call you Axel?"

I liked it. Axel. Simple and yet unique. "Sounds perfect."

He stood up from his chair and I realized one of three things; he was short, or I was tall, or both. I wandered around the room and marveled at everything. It was not pixels, but something else entirely; foreign and amazing to view up close. I reached out to touch it and my hand went through it, I sighed in disappointment. I heard Roxas behind me, "Axel? Are you okay?"

I turned as he tried to put a hand on my shoulder, phasing through it and letting out a sound of shock. He took a step back and looked at his hand, "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything else…"

I nodded, "I guess I can't interact with your world as you can with mine."

"But at least you're here."

I nodded, puzzled by his relaxed and tranquil expression as he stared up at me. I looked him over, only coming up to my shoulder, he was short. Blonde hair spiked to the left, blue eyes and relatively pale skin for a human. He had a decent frame though, but looked moderately female, one of his ears was pierced and a rainbow wristband encircled his wrist. He smiled.

A week past and I was beginning to get used to everything. I'd explored every inch of Roxas's room while he went to classes, insisting that I couldn't come. I was currently working on a program to allow me to touch things, as it stood, I could deliver an electric shock to anything at would-be touch and so the computer was in limits. I played music while he was gone, educating myself in any way possible of Roxas's universe.

By a month, I had learned ten different languages and could speak them fluently, extremely advanced calculus, every form of science, the history of the entire planet and it's cultures and memorized the dictionary.

After which, I was bored.

I used my math knowledge to develop a formula to help me find a way to touch objects, but Roxas couldn't help me with the coding, having only Trigonometry in his mathematical skills. I eventually mapped him out a course that would hopefully work and we entered it in the computer. It didn't seem to work.

I came back from the mainframe and ran a hand through my hair. "Well, I got nothing."

Roxas sighed, disappointed. "That sucks."

"Aw well," I sighed. "When are you going to let me leave this room?"

"Never if I can't get you to touch something, you wouldn't be able to get around safely, brushing into someone could cause uproar, it's just too risky."

I didn't care. He had IMVU and I hated it, I wanted to see the _real_ world. I'd already beaten all of his games without hacking them as well. I was honestly bored to crashing point.

When Roxas left the next morning I was overly determined. I sat on a chair, more of hovered over it and made it _look _like I was sitting and stared at a pencil. I wriggled my fingers and then reached out to it, biting my lip before I let my fingertips brush against it.

The pencil moved. The formula had worked. I was VICTORIOUS! It just took time to fully download!

I wanted to squeal like a little girl in joy. I concentrated on it and then picked the pencil up, turning it over in my hands. It was hard, wooden and badly treated. A few dents lined it's body and it was blunt.

I loved that pencil.

I looked around the room, spotting something of interest, very carefully I concentrated and plucked a paper from a large stack and pulled it free. It was Roxas's schedule.

I looked at the clock and then back at the paper. My eyes scanned the room for something to cover for me. I found a large book with the same title, a paper sticking out of it. He'd left papers in books all the time, but as I pulled the book down carefully and yanked the paper free to see an essay I decided to use it as my cover. Surely he'd appreciate having someone give him his assignment.

I stood at the doorknob and slowly turned it. I was overjoyed when I pulled the door open, nearly phasing through the paper.

I grasped it again and began my way to the room called N3-145.

It took me a little while to find the N3 wing, but after that and my bout with the elevator, I located the room. Peeking inside the large auditorium styled room I spotted a head of blonde hair. The professor was writing on a board, Roxas was tearing through his backpack, looking for something in agitation. I soundlessly made my way down to him, a few startled gasps from around the room as I passed.

"Is this what you're looking for?" He froze as a paper appeared in front of his face.

He took it from me with an agape expression, "how did you-?"

"The formula worked," I was grinning widely, unable to help myself.

Roxas's blank expression faded into a mild frown. "Why did you leave the room?"

"Because I could touch the doorknob," I said simply. "And you left your homework again."

He couldn't help the grin that fought for its way across his face. He tried to force it back down and be serious but he was just too excited.

"If you'd like to have a conversation, please take it outside, you're blocking my view and I can't hear."

Roxas flipped off the girl speaker, she perked up with a smile and Roxas looked disgusted. "Axel, go back to the room or better yet, hang around the courtyard, just keep a low profile."

"I'll take him," the girl said, drooling on me. "I'll take him home while I'm at it."

"Red, what have we said about being a skank?"

She pouted, "Oh fine."

I grinned nervously at her and looked back to Roxas.

"Courtyard, shoo, before I get thrown out."

I allowed myself to be ushered out of the room and made my way outside, stunned once I got there. I stared up at the celestial body called a SUN for a while, my eyes burning in their virtual sockets. I became fixated on the sky and watched clouds flutter by before a bird crossed my vision, a common sparrow to the region I recognized it's flight pattern. It landed in a tree and chirped. I stared at the said tree, the bushes, grass, and flowers.

Never before had I beheld such wonders.

The air brushed through me and I allowed it to touch my skin, cooling it off and combing through my hair. I hummed in delight as the sun warmed me in unison. I fell down in the grass and laughed, running my fingers through the grass.

How could a human take this for granted. I wanted to make a grass angel but remembered Roxas wanted me to keep a low profile, so I assumed making a grass angel at the age of twenty three was rather odd and refrained. I laid there, an occasional bird or butterfly fluttering by my childish grin until a familiar blonde stood over me, a messenger bag hung over one of his shoulders and threatened to fall on my arm as he was tilted over me slightly. "Having fun?"

"Am I ever!" I exclaimed, bolting upward and avoiding his things. "I've never seen so many amazing spectacles!"

He chuckled, "I don't see there's any taking you back just yet, so come on I'll show you more interesting things."

He allowed me to stand up and I followed him to a red vehicle, a ford mustang, 1990 model. Two doors, 6 cylinder engine. It looked like it had a previous owner, the bumper sticker implying something about golf, half of the sticker was missing. "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out," he said, opening the door and gesturing for me to get in before walking over to his side of the car to drive. "Get in."

I jumped into the seat, nearly phased through it, apologized, and shut my own door. I bounced in the seat and looked around wildly. "Where are we going?"

"I told you that you'd see."

We stopped at the front of a building, it looked a little run down but I could hear a high bass beat pounding at the walls, the faint scream of a guitar, and a voice masked by all the other sounds. "It's karaoke night, but I want you to stay off the stage kay?"

"Karaoke is when another person sings a song on their own accord correct?"

"Yeah, I promised some friends I'd show up today. I think you'll like them."

I was confused then. Roxas never mentioned others before. He led me inside with a flash of a badge and saying I was a guest. I was assaulted by loud speakers and flashing lights. For a moment, I thought I would crash, shaking my head and calming before I adjusted to the flashing strobe light and smoke in the room.

I heard a girls voice, looking up to the stage she wore a strange looking blue and periwinkle outfit, short cropped brown hair and dual eye colors. The words I made out over the bass were few, but I recognized the remixed version, and better done version of Get Low and Break the Ice. She even did her own choreography, and showed she knew it well. I couldn't see who was doing Get Low.

Roxas managed to get my attention and yelled for me to keep my concentration before leading me to a quieter location where two boys fervently made out, four girls laughed and drank fruity looking liquids with umbrellas, while another boy argued with them. "Hey guys."

All but the heavily involved two turned. Roxas was bombared with greetings and pulled onto the couch, being assaulted by affection from three very different, and yet strangely similar women. The singled out male squawked in protest.

"Okay girls, off me, you know I'm not into that," Roxas laughed. "You haven't met my friend."

They all looked at me; then squealed with delight. I was attacked with greetings and yanked onto the couch, nearly breaking my concentration. They giggled and grinned at me, chattering at Roxas in unison and blending questions.

"One at a time!" he complained.

"What's cuties name?" the black haired one asked.

"Why haven't we seen HIM before?" asked the blonde.

"He's absolutely DARLING Roxas!" the redhead added.

"Nice piece of ass," the blonde male across from me muttered.

The brunette and silver haired males were still heavily engaged.

Where the hell WAS I? "His name is Axel, he's NEW." He enhanced the word to make me catch on that that was alibi.

They all squealed and began rubbing all over me, and each other coincidentally. Roxas gave an apologetic grin before the dirty blonde slid up beside him. I couldn't make out what anyone was saying, but I knew I needed a break before I crashed from overload. I tried to shake it off, but I was overheating. I forced my body into a stand and clutched my forehead, "Roxas I need some quiet; can you direct me somewhere?"

Roxas stood up and led me away and into a quiet location with a swinging door. Everything was tiled and there were stalls and a sink, the bathroom. "You okay Axel?"

"I'm going to crash, give me a minute and I should be fine." I leaned back against the sinks, rubbing my forehead. "Who are those people?"

"The blonde is Namine', redhead is Kairi, and black haired one is Xion. The liplocked guys are Sora, the brunette, and Riku, the silver haired one. The other guy is Demyx."

I nodded, starting to cool off. "Were they going to try and have sex with me?"

"Maybe each other, but they wouldn't invite you, haven't you figure it out yet?"

"Figure it out what?"

"We're in a gay bar Axel."

I got quiet, I remembered after some internet research what that meant. "Oh."

"Yeah."

We lingered in the cooler room for a while and Demyx came in to check on us. Roxas managed to shoo him and we were alone again. I wasn't doing well, the over sensory activity was slowing roasting my programming. Roxas frowned, "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't think so… can I wait outside?"

Roxas shook his head, "I don't think that's a good idea."

I groaned. "Can I just stay here then?"

"For the moment, I have to say goodbye to one person and then we'll go okay?"

I nodded and Roxas sprinted off. I vaguely heard the giggles of the three lesbians and turned to the mirror. It was the first time I'd really seen myself.

I had red hair, spiky and in random directions, tanned skin, a strong but thin frame, and two triangles with the base rounded under my eyes were tattooed into my skin. I had the most striking green eyes; the irises were the same color as the numbers of cyber space. Someone came in with Roxas, introducing himself as Zexion. I nodded to the silver haired male, and he nodded back.

"You don't look too well," he stated. "Did you drink too much?"

I shook my head, "hard to take it all in at once. I'm crashing."

Roxas bit his lip and looked at Zexion, the silver haired male laughed and patted my shoulder. I winced, the slightest touch sent a shock to my brain. He backed up a step and apologized. "I have to get back to the band, hope you don't mind. Sorry."

Roxas watched him leave with a sigh, "idiot. He thinks he's so smart."

I didn't get it. That's bad.

"Come on Axel, let's get you out of here." He tried to touch me but I flinched away.

"It hurts."

"Okay then, stay close to me."

He took me out the back entrance and we walked around, to the car. No one said anything and Roxas helped me into the backseat and got in the driver's side. Roxas took me home.

"Sorry Axel, I didn't know you could crash."

I tried to reply but couldn't, my mainframe was too scrambled. If I had been in true mode, I'd be the blue screen of death right now, as a video game form, I was glitching a lot. He helped me back to the dorm and I put my hand on the scanner, returning to the quiet of cyberspace. Roxas frowned at the screen as I collapsed on the task bar, groaning and rolling over. "Sorry I ruined your night; you didn't get to watch your friend did you."

"He's not as important as you, besides, you got to meet him and I said hello. It should stay that simple between us."

"Zexion?"

He nodded at me and I frowned. "Why?"

"He's my ex Axel. It didn't end badly, but sometimes I wonder if it should have ended at all. We just… broke up. Pure and simple."

"I'm sorry but I don't understand."

"I dated him, and now I'm not anymore. It's not good for me to linger around him like I do."

"Then why do it?"

"I can't help it; I want to be his friend."

The way he said friend made it sound like a curse word.

"He's just making it really hard, always trying to shove me away but keep me here. Just like… backup, in case he really and truly needs someone, he can count on Roxas to be there for him. God," he cradled his forehead in his hand. "I'm such an idiot."

I reached over my head and slapped the menu bar, when it popped up I pulled up iTunes and began playing more uplifting tracks. "I have to go into my real form or I'll be damaged, I'll leave the music up for you okay. Get some rest." Roxas nodded and rose as I covered the screen with black and green data.

When I came back, it was around 11:36 pm the next day. Roxas was asleep at the keyboard. I descanned myself and put a hand on his shoulder. "Roxas…"

He groggily woke up and looked at me, "you're okay…"

"I'm fine. How long have you been here?"

"all day," he confessed.

"You missed class?"

"Saturday," he reminded.

"You wasted an entire day watching numbers flash across a screen?"

"Looks like it?" he replied sleepily with a light chuckle. "I was worried when you didn't recover quickly."

"I shut down, I had to reboot. Defragging a defrag program can take some time."

He yawned. I clucked my tongue and helped him up. I got him over to the bed and when I tried to return to the PC, he grabbed my arm, half asleep. I sighed and realized he was too tired to argue with and hovered slightly on the bed beside him, still allowing him to touch me, but not falling through if I lost my concentration. He snuggled up beside me and fell asleep quickly. I smiled and brushed my and through his hair, memorizing and saving the exact feeling of it as a softer song played in the background. "You and Me," by Lifehouse, three minutes and fourteen seconds long to be exact. I eventually fell asleep as well, going into a sleep mode as I was under stimulated. His hand was still clutched in my shirt.

A couple of months went by, I was still amazed by the wonders of some of Roxas's smallest objects. Reading and researching was one thing; but seeing it, feeling the object, smelling it, or tasting it… that was something else entirely. He let me go everywhere with him and I loved it. I enjoyed my time with Roxas most of all, I could tell our attitudes towards one another were changing. I wasn't quite sure when it happened, but it lead up to some very interesting events.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you doing that day… the day we met?"

"They day I installed you or-"

"The day you MET me."

"Oh yeah…" he thought back "that."

I cocked my head at him, sitting on his bed as he sat down a pencil and spun around to face me. I watched curiously as he stood up from his homework and stood in front of me. "Define the word 'masturbate'."

So I did. There was a pause and Roxas raised an eyebrow at me. I flushed for a moment. "OH."

He grinned and nodded.

"I can see the reason behind the embarrassment."

He nodded again, and I researched in my head. "Okay, so you were masturbating…. How do you go about doing that?"

"You're kidding right?"

"It's a dictionary, not an instruction manual or Dummies book."

He bit his lip, thinking of a way to explain it then glanced at me. "How about a demonstration?"

I drew back slightly. "Demonstration?" Like… youtube?

He nodded. "Right here. I'll lock the door. How humanlike are you."

"I'm 100% human, with only a 5% error margin, it pertains to bodily functions such as eating."

"So you have a sex drive?"

I'd never heard that phrase before. "A what?"

"Do you get horny Axel?"

"I never have, but I suppose it's possible."

He grinned, "Then that makes it more fun."

I blushed, suddenly nervous under my installer's mischievous grin. "Okay, I'll stay in my chair, and I'll tell you what to do. Okay?"

"Here? In your world?"

"Would you prefer cyberspace?"

"No, this is fine. I just don't want to make a mess."

"You're virtual; you can clean it up with an eraser tool right?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "I guess so."

He took a seat at his chair, elbow on the armrests, fingertips touching in front of his nose, a smirk spread across his features as he watched me. "Take your pants off."

Holy shit. He was serious. I was bound to my word though, so I slid my pants off and tossed them on the scanner and they vanished into numbers as they were reabsorbed. He was pleased I had nothing underneath. What did a frag program have with more than pants anyway? It was a waste of data units.

"Okay," he said softly. "Comfy?"

Not really. "I suppose."

"Completely relax, and then think of the dirtiest thing you possibly can."

"Dirtiest?" An image of a person covered in large sores, living in a dumpster with his own filth and mud with insects burying under his skin and crawling through his hair popped into my mind. I made a face in disgust.

"Something sexual, something that… uh…" he thought for the phrase, "makes you… aroused."

"I'm a computer program," I reminded him. "I don't know anything of that nature."

"Okay, we'll skip that I guess," he put his curled finger to his chin and looked away, thinking of something. I felt extremely exposed at this moment, looking down at the foreign appendage of my body. What made this so difficult? "Are you comfortable with the idea of receiving help?"

"What do you mean?"

Roxas sighed and crossed the room over to me, leaning down so his face was level with mine. "Do you want an easier time with help?"

I stared at him for a moment, unsure as of to what he meant. "I suppose."

He held out his hand and I laid mine in his. He slipped his fingers around so they overlapped over mine. "This will be really awkward," he warned.

He led my hand down to my penis and gently guided my fingers to wrap around it, I blushed visibly and looked up at him. Roxas smiled, never taking his eyes off my face, not wanting to make me any more uncomfortable than I already was. He told me exactly what we were doing as we did it, and within a few minutes, I came into his hand.

The evidence was erased in a few moments. Needless to say I was mildly embarrassed by the situation.

PAUSE

"I TOLD YOU TO TELL IT **_Un_**-GAY LIKE!" Axel screamed at the author.

"Shut up Axel."

UNPAUSE

PAUSE

"That was one of the most embarrassing days in my life! I don't like you tossing it around."

"I wasn't TOSSING. I was juggling thank you very much!"

"you make it sound like that's SO much better!"  
"Can I get back to the story now?"

"After you delete it."

"Then you're not getting a story, it's crucial to the plot line."

Axel huffed a sigh, "Fine."

"Go back to the trash bin you squeeper."

UNPAUSE. "What the fuck is a squeeper?" he grumbled as he walked off screen.

A-hem.

In the three or four days after, I began to notice all the changes in our relationship. Roxas had always been close to me, but now I was more aware of just HOW close he was. His hand brushed against mine as we walked around together, he was insistent on hugs, and even when standing, he was mere inches away. Now that I was mobile, he introduced me as a friend from a base in Japan he'd met online, which was strangely close to the truth. His friends never even seemed skeptical of this.

"Roxas." I said, as he licked at an ice-cream. He made a sound of acknowledgement, looking at me with an extremely slow lick. "You do realize I'm a computer program, I'm incapable of real emotion right?"

"You seem real enough to me," he countered. "You even feel pain."

"I'm incapable of love, I know its definition, I know symptoms, and I know what it can do. However, I am unable to feel it for real."

"Really?" Roxas said, slightly lower in tone, as if not wanting to believe it.

"Correct," I confirmed.

"That's funny because," he looked at me with a serious expression, eyes bent on proving me wrong. "Love isn't even a word. It's billions."

So I defined it. "A four letter word. L. O. V. E. A Noun." I retorted.

"Love is this," I froze when his lips pressed against mine, almost literally. When he pulled back he smirked at me. "Can you honestly say you didn't feel that? The feeling you get from it?"

I had to admit, he had caught me. The feeling of his warm lips against mine was electric, sending a small tingle of energy shockwaving through my body. Was it love? Or lust? Both start with L and are possibly mixed in my faulty programming, but I chose to believe it was the latter and cupped his cheek, repateing the simple motion of capturing his lips.

He sighed against me and tossed the ice-cream somewhere behind our park bench, insistently pressing back on my advances until I was practically laying down. There was a shocked sound of a girl and we jumped apart. "GET A ROOM!" She squawked indigently.

"Jesus Red! Can't you get a life!? Stop following me!"

"I'm not following you!" she yelled back. "You know I _work _here!"

Roxas looked at the Baskin Robins uniform and then smiled, "whoops."

"YOU stop following ME!" she yelled as she playfully stamped her foot, turning on her heel and stalked off grumbling something about not getting laid.

Roxas laughed and he helped me stand from my location, escorting me to the car with a devious grin that unnerved me. I was taken back to his room, then he attempted to grab by shirt, failing as he phased through me. I turned around sharply, concentrating as being reality as he pushed me onto his bed, and then straddled my lap.

"What is yaoi?"

"Gay porn," I offered.

"What is love?"

"Something you feel when someone kisses you."

"Are you sure?" he said as he slipped his fingers under the hem of my shirt, I blushed involuntarily and tried to ease away, resulting in him pinning me in place with his knees and pressing down on my waist with his body.

"Not anymore," I said smoothly as I captured his lips again. "Care to teach me?"

"A computer is only as smart as its user."

"Then use me," I offered.

"I thought you'd never give me that option," he said silkily, caressing the muscle of my chest.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!" Axel yelled, pausing and jumping in front of the scene. "WHAT IT THAT?!?"

"Bunnies," Red supplied. "What does it look like?"

"You're making us have SEX!?"

She paused for a moment and then typed the word, very large on the screen- **YES**.

"Why?" He asked weakly.  
"Cuz it's fun," she replied, grinning broadly. "Got it memorized?" She added a playboy, click and point.

Axel's forehead met his hand. "You are so evil."

"I have a sex scene to write, so if you don't mind…." A cursor poked his shoulder and he cursed before walking off screen again, looking defeated and disgusted.

Roxas's hands roamed over my body; each touch was warm and static. He found my lips with his and lined my bottom lip with his tongue, the startled breath I took gave the slick muscle access and he explored every contour of my mouth and torso. I was so absorbed with the mere pleasure of it, his hands started to phase through my shirt and eventually the fabric itself disappeared with a slight glow and burst of numbers. I practiced new found knowledge on the blonde, pressing out lips together and returning a few of his touches, eventually capturing one of his hands and lacing our fingers together.

I pulled back from him and he looked worried for a brief moment. Framed by the light, he looked holy and angelic, his button-up shirt open and dangling from his sides loosely. Something in those blue eyes sparkled and screamed emotions I shouldn't be able to comprehend. "Something wrong? Are we going to fast?"

I smiled, eyes closing for a second to wonder how lucky I was. "It's not that."

"What's wrong then?"

"I'm… I don't know if I _can_…" I groped for words but drew up blank.

"It's okay, I'll be as gentle as I can." Roxas soothed, cupping my cheek with one of his warm, soft hands. I blinked at him, still not voicing my concerns. He chuckled softly before saying the words, "You're human enough for me."

I smiled, wondering how he knew what the problem was. "Okay," I whispered, letting one of my hands slide down his chest and memorizing the feeling of it.

Roxas let out a delicate breath of air before recapturing my lips. The kisses became heavier, filled with a desire and longing I couldn't describe. He pressed his hips down against mine and I groaned at the friction it caused, all but begging for more. The hard denim of my pants rubbing against my arousal and driving me insane with the pleasure and pain it caused. Roxas's hands slid lower, and then gripped the hem of my pants, he broke off from our kisses to whisper the words. "Take em' off."

My pants became nonexistent as Roxas pulled his shirt completely away, unfastening his jeans. I lost track of when, but at some point between our make out sessions and gentle caresses, they came off completely. Roxas was down to nothing but socks and boxers as we continued our montage of foreplay.

His tongue toyed at one nipple, nibbling on the sensitive and entirely human bud as his fingers played with the other. I gripped his shoulders and became incoherently aware that I was saying something, but I have no recollection of what.

"How about, STOP MAKING US HAVE SEX!?" Axel yelled, popping into the screen.

"YOU'RE KILLING THE MOMENT!" Red yelled, poking him in the eye with a cursor and sicing pac man on him. "Back to business, I'm sorry my dear readers." She says as the screams and curses of Axel are heard in Tokyo, followed by the wondrous sound "wakka wakka wakka."

Roxas seemed to comply to my words, a spit slicked finger slipping into my anus. This startled me, I'd seen it, but the filling sensation it gave was extremely foreign. Roxas nipped at my neck as he inserted a second and began scissoring my virgin body. The strange sensation was replaced by twinges of pain and then pleasure as Roxas continued to nibble at my neck and shoulders in order to distract me.

After a few moments of this, the sensation was brain numbing. I was almost afraid I would crash from the pure pleasure of it, rocking my hips against the digits. I was prepared for the excoriating pain, but it was still excruciating pain as he pressed into me. He paused once inside of me, waiting for me to comply to the animalistic desires of his brain. I put my hands on his shoulders and pressed downward on him, he let out a soft noise of ecstasy before looking into my eyes and simply knowing what it was I couldn't seem to say.

He began to move, slowly at first. I became used to the sensation of the twinge of pain followed by pleasure until it was nothing but pleasure, matching his movements with my own. Roxas began to succumb to human lust, his eyes clouding and filling with the sin. I was overwhelmed by the sensitivity of my body, every little measure of pleasure striking something deep within me and a familiar pressure slowly building. A hot, somewhat moist hand gripped my most sensitive appendage and pumped it in time with the thrusts.

It did not take much more than a simple kiss to trip me over the edge; I felt my form flicker between states as I came, hard and pushing Roxas into ecstasy. He collapsed onto me and lay there, weak and drained of energy before managing to push himself up and pull away entirely. I continued to flicker, but Roxas paid no mind, cupping my cheek and letting his lips caress mine again before lying to my side and falling asleep. I cleaned up the mess with little effort, reaching downward, Roxas groaning in protest, and pulled a blanket over us both. Nothing could make this day any better, nothing. I curled up with my blonde user and let sleep mode overtake me.

"I can't believe you made us have sex."

"SILENCE!" Red commanded.

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

TWO WEEKS LATER

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

"Take my haaaaaaaaaaaaand tonight! Let's not think about to tomorrow!  
Take my HAAAAAAAAAND tonight, we can find someplace to go!  
Yes our hearts are lost forever, and our love will never die!  
take my haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand tonight!  
One last TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!"

He struck the last notes of his air guitar with a flair for the dramatic before jabbing the horns out to an imaginary audience and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth like a bad KISS impersonation. A clap from the doorway made him scream like a little girl and turn sharply towards me.

I laughed softly, clapping while doing so, "Very nice. You should do that more often."

He shot me the bird and I cocked my head to the side. "Is that an offer?"

He glared in response. "Not with that attitude."

I laughed again before moving slowly into the room. I put my hands on his waist, sliding my hands forward to hold him in a light embrace, a smirk on my face. "A pointer- take your shirt off next time."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

I flickered, the thought creating a glitch in my system.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You should," I agreed.

It was Christmas break and everyone was getting ready for the holiday, Roxas even took me to his parent's house. They were out of town right now, but would be in tomorrow for the holiday with family. He made me promise to tell him the e-dating story if they asked, and I had no arguments. However, Roxas seemed a bit odd, somewhat off whenever the family talked to him. I'd ask but he changed the subject without a second thought.

I wondered what was wrong. The phone rang and Roxas broke my hold on him to get it, I slipped out of the room and found the other phone, touching it and connecting to the circuitry.

"Hello?" Roxas's voice.

"Hey Roxy!" an older woman exclaimed. "Are you excited?"  
"Not really," he replied playfully.

"You should be! With Zexion's band playing and all, we all know how much you love him!"

"Mom," Roxas said, sterner. "We've talked about this."

"I know…" she paused, "but dear-"

"Mom," he barked. "He dumped me. For another person."

"I know dear, but-"

"No mom," Roxas hung up the phone. I quickly ventured back into the room with him to see a saddened blonde.

Zexion. That was the problem. Anytime the silver haired rocker was mentioned, Roxas became depressed. I would always try my hardest to cheer him up, even if that meant something embarrassing. Then it occurred to me, he had been air guitaring… maybe he was more than just a boyfriend, but a colleague as well.

Maybe he still cares about Zexion…

"Axel, you okay?"

I was drawn out of my thoughts and I matched his gaze with mine. "I'm perfectly alright. It's you I worry about."

He sighed, "I said I didn't want to talk about it." He turned his head away from me, becoming obsessed with something to the right of him.

"You don't have to."

He looked back at me with his eyes, not turning his head. I grabbed his forearm and dragged him to the couch, pulling him onto my lap and holding him there firmly with my arms acting as a cage. "You're worried about me meeting your parents." I lied.

"Yeah…" he lied back. "I guess I am."

That meant he was truly and honestly worried about Zexion; Roxas never lies unless he sees that he has to, or is really upset. I kissed his forehead. "Don't worry about me, if all else fails I can transmit through the phone system and internet."

He nodded. "Yeah. Mom and Dad'll be here in the morning."

I nodded back and he let me hold him there, curling into himself on my lap and resting his head on my shoulder. Zexion… I never did find out all the details of what happened between them.

All I know, is that it didn't end with a definite end, leaving Roxas alone but filled with hope and the despair brought by it. We stayed in relative silence for the rest of the night, ashamed by our lies to each other and the heaviness of foreboding and secrets.

"OH ROXY HE'S ABSOLUTELY DARLING!"

That was what I woke up to, being jolted out of my sleep mode and falling out the bed and (thankfully) sight range as I flickered a couple times. I groaned and pulled myself up, Roxas making some incoherent nosie as a woman showered him with praise.

"Darling? DARLING!?" Axel asked, exasperated. "I may be many things but _DARLING_ is not one of them!"

"Shut up Axel."

He pouted and stormed off screen before the cursor attacked him.

Roxas finally groggily muttered the word 'mom' and the whole shower started over again, heavier this time. A man blocked most of the light in the doorway, shaking his head and chuckling.

"What's his NAME?" the apparent mother asked.

"Axel," I muttered, pulling myself back up and loading back into humanity. "They call me Axel."

"That's an odd name," she muttered. "I LOVE IT!" She started shaking his hand and chattering like a parrot.

The man in the door way snorted with laughter as Roxas tried to pry his mother off of me, grumbling something about needing clothes. Eventually, after about ten minutes of coaxing, the two were ushered out.

Roxas apologized. "Mom gets a little spastic."

I laughed, "It's alright. If I had a mother, she'd probably be similar."

"SHIT, that's right you don't have family. If they ask, look sad and say they're no longer with us."

He pulled on a pair of sweat pants and I digitally altered my apparel as he slipped on a baggy white shirt. He ran a hand through his hair and looked me up and down. "Pull your hair back."

I ran my hands over my spikes and they conformed to a ponytail, a few loose strands fell into my eyes and the rest spiked regardless of their hold. Roxas nodded, "much better. Dad'll like that."

For the entire Christmas Eve morning and early afternoon, I was stuck in a rabid game of twenty questions. I say rabid because the woman practically foamed at the mouth from the chatter. She had short cropped brown hair, a thin build and a definite agility about her. Her husband and Roxas's father was tall with raven black hair, and you never seemed to see much of his face at one time. He was extremely quiet in comparison. Neither of them looked anything like Roxas, when I asked why this was, he said he was adopted.

He did not fret on the subject much. The Christmas party was great and fun until a familiar black van parked out front, a band name scrawled across the side in a silver.

The back opened and out walked, masked by a cloud of false steam and a fan somewhere (how the hell?)…

Zexion.

His band members followed suit, greeting the onlookers and gleeful fans. Zexion walked directly up to me and smirked. I didn't like it. "You must be the new one."

"Zexion don't." Roxas warned.

"I wish you the best of luck," he said coyly, smirking in a way that made me want to kill him.

I would massacre pictures of him with photoshop when we returned to the dorms.

Zexion clapped a hand on my shoulder and moved past; I shuddered and massaged the location, disgusted. Roxas was fixated on him, and I gently tapped his hand with mine, jolting him out of his mild trance. He apologized and went to his mother to complain. PAUSE.

"Man, you made me look like a pansy!" Axel complained, throwing digital popcorn at the fanfiction-visual screen. "Kick his ass already!"

"Axel, what have we said about ass kicking and throwing popcorn at screens?"  
"Only during the rocky horror picture show," he nagged.

"Close…"

Sighing he corrected himself. "At the right time at the right time in the right way… blah blah blah."

"Why are you so out of character today?"

"Why did you make us have sex?"  
"You're not letting that go are you?"

"Of course not, play the film."

UNPAUSE.

Within a few minutes, Zexion asked to see Roxas alone, and I hated letting him go. He insisted he'd be right back and left me with his friend Red, who proceeded to hit on me for the duration of the fifteen minutes I waited. I asked his mother where they went and she pointed in the house. I heard a startled cry, rushing to the room I found Zexion on top of Roxas, his shirt removed and Roxas's pants open.

I staggered backwards, pointing numbly at the figures before turning on my heel and bolting from the door, my eyes trying to commit suicide, and the hole in my heart threatening to make me change forms.

"AXEL!?"

I heard him, but I ignored it. I found Roxas's mother and explained that something had come up and I had to leave, rushing away with little clue as to where I was going. All I knew is that I was going. Roxas continued to follow me, and trying to get me to stay. When I ducked behind a power box and disappeared, he knew I was gone.

I trudged back into my home mainframe and sat on the homemade digital room Roxas and I had created for me to interact with on his desktop. I couldn't help the human emotions that rushed through me, betrayal and hurt carving holes in my heart. I should have known.

I pulled up my mainframe and read the IP address of the computer that created me. There's always a way to make the pain stop.

Just… some are more drastic than others.

I'm a computer program, a faulty computer program. Roxas and I were never supposed to even exist together. I wished him happiness as I released a breath of air and then transmitted myself through the internet to Square Enix, the very computer that had finalized my program… T. Noruma. They were speaking in Japanese, but I understood every word.

He recognized me but was horrified by the now RPG compatible version of me. I asked to be fixed and he began immediately, I resumed my true form and I could feel the tinkering in my program begin.

I was shut down for the rest.

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

I opened my eyes to see out a massive screen, placing my hands against the pixels I looked around in wonder. Where was I? More important- why was I still glitching?

"You're awake?"

I then noticed the man in front of the screen. The screen was large enough that I was life sized, perfectly human in appearance. I retracted my hands and stood up in perfect posture, nodding. "Why am I still here?"

"We preserved you, this is a first time for this to happen to a normal program and I must say you are rather spectacular."

He was speaking perfect Japanese, his nametag read NOURMA.

The man who finalized my program.

"That's not important right now; we woke you up because you have a visitor."

"A visitor," I repeated numbly, praying it wasn't him.

But it was, Nourma held out an arm and Roxas stood in front of him. "Axel," Roxas rushed up to the screen and put his hands on it. I looked away. "Axel please," he repeated. "Let me explain."

I tried to walk away but the screen wouldn't allow it, cornering me between an invisible three walls and Roxas. I leaned up against the edge of the screen and scowled at the ground, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know it looked bad, just let me explain."

"Then explain." I barked.

"Zexion pinned me Axel. I didn't want it."

I snorted. How many fanfictions had I read with that exact excuse that turned to be lies.

"Please Axel, please."

I looked away from him.

"I know I can't prove it…" he muttered, hanging his head. "But I don't want to lose you Axel!"

There was a pause. "You already have." I said plainly. "Leave Roxas."

He shook his head, biting back tears. "No!"

I said nothing, blinking slowly.

"No! nonono…"

Nourma put a hand on the now sobbing boy's shoulder and led him away. It was exactly forty seven minutes, eleven point five seconds before Nourma stood in his exact location. "May I ask?"

"No." I said curtly.

"That's a shame."

"It is."

Silence filled the room, and I was shut down again.

"That was lame." Axel complained, tossing popcorn. "Very cliché."

"It's only cliché because it's real," Red confirmed. "I try to avoid the normal but keep it there ya know?"

Axel shrugged. "BeehiveOnethreezer0… _where clichés come to die_."

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

"Axel."

I became conscious.  
"_Axel."_

I opened my eyes and took a stand again. I looked around and realize I was back in the screen. Nourma was in his usual place and grinning broadly. I tilted my hand to the side. "Good morning Axel."

"Not Roxas again," I muttered.

"Oh no nothing like that."

I released a breath of relief.

"He's in with you this time."

"WHAT!?" I spun around and then realized I was standing only inches from a blonde in a headset. He looked sad, pleading blue eyes.

"I've always wanted a reason to test the prototype," Nourma smiled.

"You bastard," I hissed. "get him out of here!"

Roxas put a hand on my shoulder. It was a weighted sensation of electricity, but I felt it as if he was human. "Please Axel."

"NO!" I punched the screen. "Roxas you CHEATED on me. CHEATED. With your fucking EX."

Nourma looked so very interested.

"I know…" Roxas muttered, looking like he was going to cry again.

"So you admit to it?" I asked, disgusted.

"There's no way for me to prove you wrong," he said slowly. "Is there?"

I scowled at Nourma, he looked far too entertained by this. "What's to stop you from doing it again? Zexion's still single isn't he?"

"Axel…" Roxas said, defeated. "I don't love Zexion anymore…"

"Sure as hell looked like you were fixing that."

"JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME EXPLAIN!"  
"Why?" I ventured. "It won't change anything."

Nourma grabbed a chair; a few other technicians came in and did the same. Brillant. My life is a soap opera.

"Then it won't hurt to let me explain!"

"It's a waste of breath."

"I'm not breathing! I'm digital!"

I sighed, "Whatever."

"Will you let me waste my own damn words?" he added before I could say it. "I want to explain."

"Do what you want, as long as it doesn't involve me."

"Then shut up and let me explain." There was a pause, "I can't love Zexion." Roxas started. I rolled my eyes. "I CAN'T. I just… can't."

I leaned up against the screen, glaring at all the computer nerds that created me. They all seemed to be on the edge of their seats, staring openmouthed at us.

"I can't Axel, because…"

I looked at him, a hard and cold stare that made him look away.

"Because I'm in love with you."

Silence covered the room, no one breathed after the shocked draw back and gasp.

"I can't love Zexion because I love you too much. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"Too late," I muttered softly. I don't think he heard me.

"I'd NEVER cheat on you Axel…. Not willingly. But… I guess that doesn't matter now."

I shouldn't have looked at him, but I did. His head was hung and tears fell from his eyes. He was shaking and looked destroyed. The light shined on the drops of saltwater and made them glitter as they fell freely from his eyes. "Roxas don't cry…"

"WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!?" He screamed, everyone leaned back in their chairs. "JUST TELL ME SOMEWAY TO PROVE I LOVE YOU AND I WILL!"

"That's not the problem," I said softly.

"Tell me to do anything. Anything at all, and I'll do it if it means proving that I didn't want it."

"Leave."

"What?" Roxas's head snapped up, face flushed and tears littering his reddened cheeks.

"Leave. Don't ever come back," I said flatly, avoiding his eyes.

A woman in the group was tearing up. I could see Roxas in the corner of my eye, he lowered his head and said few things. "Okay… I love you Axel… remember that."

He reached up and took off the headset, instantly he flickered out of existence.

The entire group cried softly up as Roxas rushed past them, humanized with his hands covering his face and almost running as he sobbed. When I knew he was gone, I put my back to the screen and slid down it, letting loose the parade of tears I had been holding. I let myself drift off into sleep mode.

Axel sniffled and grabbed a tissue. "YOU BITCH!"

"I know," Red supplied.

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

For the next month, I thought of nothing but Roxas. They allowed me to stay awake and I lived my digital life without interest, not even ice-cream tasted right.

I always shot down the part of my mind that wanted to believe him. Something curled around my heart and squeezed at the thought of him that day.

"Nourma?" I said.

There was a 'hm?' in reply.

"Do you think Roxas is okay?"

"I suppose," he replied in Japanese. "Would you like to find out?"

I turned my head to look at him, seated with my back to the edge of the screen. "Nah, that's okay…"

"It says he's online."

I jolted, "You're on his myspace!?"

"Of course, he friended me." Nourma said, grinning.

"How is he?" I asked. "Is he okay, does he have a boyfriend, did he graduate, how was the last holiday?"

Nourma smiled, "And you said no."

I looked away, cursing softly. "Okay FINE, I wonder."

"He's still single, his status is 'empty' and the message says 'another day another drowning.'"

So he hasn't moved on.

"OOOH a blog entry," Nourma said happily and entirely unorthodox. He clicked it and read it, he covered his mouth with his hand and seemed to go into deep thought at the computer beside my screen.

"What is it?"

"He's…" Nourma stopped, trying to find the words. "Not doing well."

"How bad?"

"I'm not letting you read it."

Then it's bad. I sighed and closed my eyes. "Alright."

The next few days blurred into each other, people studied me and I wandered about the screen and did my usual meddling, occasionally defragging things I messed up on purpose and throwing sevens into the ones to confuse the technicians. The cause of my glitch was still unknown.

"Axel!"

I was pulled out of my trance abruptly.

"We're sending you back."

"Back where?"

They all exchanged glances. It hit me.

"WHY?!"

"We'll keep tabs on your progess. We also want to see if it was the boy who caused your malfunction."

I glared at them, "I will virus you're systems to hell and back if you send me there."

"We've put up a new program called S.A.I.X. in case of that."

I cursed loudly.

And so I was sent back, locked into a zip folder and sent back to my original computer through wireless connection.

I was asleep through most of this, but I woke up to the sound of music. I peeked through the screen to see it was night, Roxas's room had changed. It was blank.

It had no form of definition to it, completely stripped of Roxas's identity. I descanned myself and stepped into his room. It had been a while since I had walked around in this world and I walked up to the sleeping blonde. He was crying in his sleep and my heart broke at the sight of it. He had his phone clutched in his hand and after a careful maneuver it pried it from his grip. I turned my back to him and walked into the shared bathroom, flicking the phone open and staring at a picture of 2 key swords. I then decided, for whatever reason, to go through his phone records. With a little hacking, I was in.

One call made my (not really) blood run cold.

It was exactly one month ago.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Roxas had screamed at the unnamed male.

"Roxy baby," they tried.

"NO ZEXION! **_NO! _**I HATE YOU!"

"No reason to be brash."

"THERE'S EVERY REASON IN THE WORLD TO BE BRASH! BECAUSE OF YOU I LOST THE LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE! I **_NEVER _**WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! EVER! NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE OR THE ONE AFTER IT! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" The line ended.

He called back several times; Roxas never answered and then blocked him entirely. I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it. "You were telling the truth."

I walked back into the room and stared down at him. "You really do love me…"I reached out and wiped a tear away, sighing at the warmth of his skin. Very carefully I slipped up beside him and let him snuggle into my chest, a fist clenched in my shirt, knuckles white with tension.

I stayed like that all night, watching the tears stop with my comfort there. Then he made a soft noise, then jolted away from me, waking up abruptly. "Good morning… Roxas."

He looked at me, then reached out and touched my face, cupping it in his bed-warmed hands. A single set of tears rolled down his cheeks and I embraced him. "Miss me?"

He squeezed tighter. "I love you Axel."

"I love you too Roxas."

Somewhere in the distance, a group of Japanese nerds cheered.

-B-E-E-E-E-H-M-E-I-N-K-A-M-P-F-

Axel sniffled and wiped his eyes off with his sleeve. "That was beautiful"

"Oh hush."

AS usual… Grammar edits. Blah blah. I actually like this fic.

Inside jokes: the title and the word SQUEEP

I'm sure you noticed hitler and/or goats was not mentioned at all. It's a little thing between my classmates involving a piece of duct tape on pigeons chin. I said she looked like hitler, another person said she looked like a goat.

Because goats have so much in common with hitler. (well…. They're both smelly ^_^ )

I said I should write a fiction with that title, just to see the reaction… so I did. The real Title to this would be GigaByte Me.

Squeep

The result of my inability to speak and think at the same time Sweeping +cleaning= squeep However, we decided to blow it up. To squeep is to buttrape with any object. I do many ANY object… plunger, rake, rock, penis, pencil…ect.

So yes. Lol.

I left an open ending so I can write a sequel if I want to. LOL. No promises there.

"Bitch."

"Gay cheerleader."

"Shuddup."


End file.
